The most convenient help is not always the best help
Life with a newborn is full of contradictions. It can be breathtakingly beautiful—tiny fingers curled around yours, a sigh of contentment, the quiet magic when the world feels like it’s standing still. But it can also be messy and overwhelming in ways you may not have expected.
So many parents tell me, “I thought I’d feel nothing but joy, but instead I feel like I’m treading water.” And that’s not because they’re doing anything wrong—it’s because welcoming a baby is a huge transition. Your sleep changes, your body changes, your relationships change. Every part of your life is touched.
Many of us are lucky enough to have family nearby, and that support can be wonderful. But let’s be honest: family relationships are complicated. You might deeply love your mom, your sister, your mother-in-law—and still find it hard to ask them for help. Maybe you feel pressure to “have it all together” around them, or maybe their version of help doesn’t quite line up with what you need. Sometimes well-meaning helpers bring more opinions than solutions. Sometimes it just doesn’t feel safe to be vulnerable with the people closest to us.
And yet, none of us are meant to do this alone. Humans were designed to parent in community, surrounded by many helping hands. But in our modern world, parents often find themselves isolated, trying to juggle everything on their own. That can feel impossibly heavy.
Here’s the truth I want every new parent to know: you deserve support that meets your actual needs, not solely the support that’s most available. Support can look like someone holding your baby so you can nap, or folding laundry while you take a shower, or sitting with you while you cry because the day has just been too much. Support can also look like encouragement to trust yourself, or someone reminding you that it’s normal to feel how you’re feeling.
If you’re reading this and nodding along, I want you to know I’m in your corner. There are people and resources in our community who want to show up for you. Here are a few places you might find support beyond family:
Local parent support groups. Lincoln Lactation and Milkworks offer feeding related support groups. El Centro de Las Americas, The Malone Center, The Asian Center, St. Marks United Methodist Church, Mom’s club of Lincoln, Lincoln Stroller Moms, and more offer in-person new parent support throughout the week.
Postpartum support organizations. Postpartum Support International offers peer support, counseling referrals, and resources for families adjusting to life with a newborn. Groups specific to many different settings and circumstances are available every day of the week.
Postpartum Doulas. Birth Plus has you covered here, connect with us to discover judgement free hands-on help in your home.
Professional helpers. IBCLC’s, Pelvic Floor Physical Therapists, Chiropractors, Perinatal massage therapists, and therapists specializing in perinatal mental health represent just some of the hundreds of trained professionals in Lincoln who know how to step in and care for you and your family after you bring home a new baby.
Local and national service establishments. Many local restaurants offer meal delivery services to take the work out of feeding everyone for a time (ChefauChef and Venue for example). A number of local launderers will come pick up your dirty laundry and bring it back clean and folded (Soap laundry, Bolt laundry, and laundry land are good examples). Many local entrepreneurs will care for your lawn and garden, clean your home, and manage your pets needs.
The early weeks with a newborn are tender and raw. It’s okay if it feels harder than you thought it would. It’s okay if the support you do have doesn’t meet every need. And it’s more than okay to seek out help from beyond your family. You are not weak or lazy for needing support, and you aren’t ungrateful for wanting help to come without strings attached— the right kind of support for your needs—you are human.
